2012年9月20日 星期四

me, myself.

我是一个怎样的人?...其实我很喜欢【听】,就是听别人说,说生活上的琐碎事、工作上的经历、感情上的坎坷等等...因为听他们说,我会更懂得这个社会更了解社会...我就是一个聆听者...但是每次要做决定和选择的时候我就头痛起来了,我缺乏信心这是我的致命点。很想尝试,但是害怕失败后的代价会超出我的想象范围...

刚刚去见了一个对我来说很重要的人,她很可能就是我的老板...听她说了很多工作上的内容和介绍...她让我觉得她是一个女强人,很独立自主、有野心、有事业心、责任心的人...如果跟她工作,我会学到很多东西...尤其是独立...她给的条件都很好,好到我担心我担当不起,我缺乏了信心...

这一刻我多希望我是一个很有野心的白羊、很有自信的白羊、很有冲劲的白羊...那我就不会像现在这样的这么担心,害怕自己hander不了反而害了别人的事业...压力太大我会怕,但是我知道我得要学会消化它...但是要如何消化使它成为我的冲劲?...

2012年9月12日 星期三

exhausting



exhausting
................
am i going to sick?suddenly headache ><
AND!im realize that today i was something wrong in my mind!
always typing wrongly in chatting
and i hv forget my document keep at where ady!
AAAAAARRRRHHHHHH~~~~
IM BECOME A OLD LADY SOON!

haizz......today im just back to penang
for taking my result and some document back for preparing my interview
BUT!my result slip and certificate hv to wait after graduation
again a wrong information from my friends ><
luckily, i hv found partly of my document...
(one more document suddenly lost ady><)

oh yah!!
finally today i got the chance to having my dinner with my lovely mamak~
my "magee goreng tak mau ayam tambah sosej telur atas"
is behind the HCC hostel at pulau tikus...
all the HCC students should know about it~XD

almost half day at starbucks after meet my dear turtle at gurney...
i think we should hv 10 days din met each other ady right?haha~
i really miss you so much~but today was not enough time for us><

after meet...starbucks with my sifu><
choosing photo for in case need in interview
i hv no idea in my shooting skill and editing skill
damn rubbish AT ALL!

FINE!for my London dream!
i should read all the books and practice my skill ><


2012年9月9日 星期日

just updated

情绪低潮的时候总是需要有人可以聊天,管它哈喇什么的~就是填补无聊emo的时间~因为毕业了,一直在烦恼着该往哪里发展?槟城?KL?现在多了一个,云顶...三个地方...不知道该选择哪一个...
KL的生活,年头见识过了...如果一个人在那里生活真的担心应付不来...我不敢想象一个人在一个完全没有朋友没有熟人的城市下长年工作和生活...而且离ta太远了...我怕我不能自己独立...要知道,ta是最了解我的人...离开一个最了解我的人到这么远,万一不开心了?还是怎么了?想找ta也找不到...
槟城是目前最佳的选择...住所这些不需要担心...但是工作发展才是我最大的问题...什么叫读这一行就得做回这一行?刚毕业难道可以马上找得到?...对,是找到了几间。但是他们需不需要人?要的条件是什么?工作内容?一切都是零,我猜测不到...盲目的发履历...
云顶...会有这个想法是因为刚刚为一个朋友送行来...她也是到云顶去做工了...很多人都说福利好工钱高...谁不看钱啊?...但是牵挂的东西太多了...我还舍不得放下...因为害怕的是失去...
最近我总觉得老天在跟我开玩笑,把ta带走了换来另一个ta陪我,ta消失了了又换来了ta,ta离开了变成了ta的陪伴,ta不在了就跑出了ta的聊天...这么多个ta,都是在我进入低潮的时候出现的...每次和每一个ta聊天我都会特别的开心~从聊吃饭到聊睡觉,什么都讲...不必顾虑其他的...纯聊天,真的很爽~虽然有时会幻想到其他的关系去...(女生谁不爱幻想呢?)

yd, again emo day for my...a lot of thing hv to settle...dunno start with which one...i know ur busy...i will try to do it myself...any, i really miss you a lot...ur the most understanding on me even myself...and just now saw something suddenly make me feel down...i wish that is myself 'think too much'...ohya~today went out with them again...but weird...dunno how to explain...just explain to you when we meet la~miss you..and night, my bbff...

2012年9月6日 星期四

raining day, ‘oddly’ night...

whole day with raining, stop awhile then rain again...make me feel cold but im enjoy bout this, cos i hate about summer day, damn hot...by the way, it was also a oddly night for me too...wahaha~chat with a new friend(my first conjurer friend~xixi~)...but the way that we conversation, just like how we treat our old friend our best friend~haha...shot with directly? yes i think i am~wahaha~bully a guy who smaller then me that was fun and enough~haha...i was like to chat with new guy?yes, i think so..cos both of us wont hv any scheming no need to wearing a mask in front each other, just chat with whatever we wan to chat...that was felt relax and comfortable what i wish for...nice to meet a new friend like him, and thx for reply...but in the real life, actually i was a introvert person... not used to take the initiative chat with others...
well, nice and glad to meet you~a conjurer...i was enjoy ur magic show, that was fun and bring back a lot of childhood memories for me~ wish that we can meet for next time...hahahaha~

my sleeping mood is back now...time for me to get in my bed...night, the world~
(just a mood make feel suddenly wanna type a blog...with randomly)

2012年9月2日 星期日

发泄~

其实毕业后才是烦恼真正的开始...家人的不了解/谅解,让我不知道应该如何走下去...其实应该是失望吧?一再一再的对我食言...被至亲食言真的很不好受...好想找你聊,但是没有那个勇气...之前的事情,我还一直很在意很在意着...得不到任何的答案,只有我在瞎猜...她想保护我,不让我知道是因为不想我受到伤害这些我都知道...但是被蒙在鼓里也是一种无形的伤害啊~你也离开了,我身边除了家人唯一的一个依靠...说真的,想念你了...忘了有多久没有无助的哭了...我,好像放声大哭发泄内心的忧郁和烦恼哦...羡慕别人?我哪有资格,每个人都得有不一样的生活...羡慕不来的......emo,又开始找上门了!...生活果然要有目标才不会有太多时间去emo...我有目标,可是我的前方却没有一条道路可以让我往前踏...远远开着朋友们走向自己的目标,我也开始的自卑起来了...